Life Attacks Me Once Again.

Oh please just help me...

Today has been hard. In all aspects, my life has been hard. Heres the run down, I got a job about a week ago at a vitamin company being a receptionist, I sit on my butt all day and have to intertain myself by reading or searching the web. Easy enough huh? The thing is, its so easy its boring. I am the type of person who needs to be on her feet, stressing out all day. That's my kind of fun. Well I have spent months looking for a Dental Assisting job, before finding this job just so that I could do that. This job popped up, I was desperate and grabbed it by the horns before it could run away. That of course being said, I have been sitting here all day doing my thing, never leaving this desk. When I got a phone call. Guess who it was. Of course it was a dental office who was interested in hiring me. Yep. Kill me now. Just tell me about how bad that sucks. This is the sort of timing that makes me want to call my mom, ask her if I could live with her in my grandmas basement for the rest of my life, and she could even tuck me in every night. I hate making life choices such as this one. It would make me feel bad to quit, but would I be happier? Pros and Cons, Pros and Cons. Its like a war between what you think would be the right desision and what wouldn't. Its always been hard to make a choice for me. I just dont understand why I think some things lead me to certain places in life and then when I feel like I am where I should be something changes. I dont feel happy. This isn't what I wanted for myself. I was supposed to get out of High School, head to College, then I would finish my degree as a doctor, live in some huge hous,e have four kids and a perfect husband. That's not what has happened at all. My life is no fairy tale. Not even close to one. Things don't end up how you want them do they? There is no "planning" because something could happen in a blink that would change everything. I'm frusterated. Tired of planning my life when fate will plan the complete opposite for me instead. I give up. Whoever or whatever is controlling my life wins. I can't ever win so I'll let them choose the ropes. I am strong. The only problem with being strong is that when your weak, man are you weak. You feel mad because your no longer that person who can controll everything. Your not that person who can hold your head high. You feel like your being challenged, like your playing a game that you cant win. My adivce, dont give in. If you do you'll be wishing twenty years from now that you didnt. I may be down today, but tomorrow I will have a desision to make that can change my life. I will be okay. I cant always be strong but I cant always be weak either. I am only human. Just remember your only human too. Take life as it comes. See you later for now.