Dancing In Rain Storms.

I feel like...

It's raining on my head, yet I'm inside. There's this little cloud that is following me around and just drenching me. It sucks. It's a feeling of depression, sadness, anger. Yes the cloud thing was metephorical if you weren't following me correctly. Lets not get this confused. I have learned that people rarely stay in my life for long periods of time. If they do, then the are something special or a family member. So it doesnt suprise me that someone close to me is drifting away. I feel like he's pulling the "it isnt you its me card". (once agian dont use this on people, it doesnt work) Which really sucks since it probably really is me and he's being sensitve. I have never understood that. Why sugar coat or wrap your words up with sensitvity when someone is already hurting. Just lay it to me straight. Like your typing a letter of all things that are completely honest. If you dont love me fine. I'll love myself. If I'm to honest, fine it wasnt meant to be. I am like a lion or a wild river, I can be calm as can be when I am asleep, but wake me up and I am the most passionate, driven person there is. If I want something I will fight for it until I get it, but I wont pretend to be something I'm not. I'll look like a lion/ river and act like one asleep, alive, or dead. At the end of the day I'm still just what I am, there's no covering it up. I am exsposed to everyone, everything. Maybe that's why when something hurts,it hurts like hell. Because I wasnt pretending ever. I am who I am, uncovered, unveiled, vunerable or whatever you'd want to call it. I mean what I say because I think you should mean it. You cant take back words after you say them but you can look back and remember that you were never lying or hiding even if it did hurt someone at some point. Even if you were vunerable. I dont get when people say "I'm just not an emotional person", how could you not be? This is your life, its right here, the person you love is being pushed away and you feel no emotion towards that? I call bull crap. How can you not be passionate about your own life, how can you not know what it feels like to be angry, to cry, to be happy? The truth is you do know what it feels like your just to damn scared to show people that. Why? Because if you did, you would be a human. You would be breakable,scared. All I can say is I'm glad I am emotional. I will show that to people because if I get hurt, if my heart gets broken at least I can say I know how to feel. I know how to fight. If I can feel pain that means I can feel happiness too. That means that I'm still breathing. Why are people such cowards? Why cant they just fight for what they want or let it go and be honest about the whole situation? Stop worrying about how you make others feel. This is your life, and if your not an "emotional person" then thats just a damn shame. You wont ever know how much you could grow from a heartbreak, you dont know how it feels to look someone in the eye and tell them how much you love them and mean it. You are not living. Your just a body walking around without its soul. Please just step up and uncover yourself, stop letting your pride get in the way. Be passionate about something, someone because if your not sooner or later that person or thing will be gone. If they break your heart remember how good it felt to be with them and forgive and open up to someone else. You have to take the good with the bad and learn how to dance in rainstorm. Because even the rain has its beautiful moments. Dont let someone slip away because your to afraid to show something to say something... stand up and be a lion.