Remembering

If only you could open your heart, to feel what I feel. To know that every inch of this tired soul aches with the pain of remembering. Remembering the way you'd laugh with your eyes glowing and your head tossed back. Rembering the nights we spent watching the stars glimmer with hope that the sunrise wouldnt come out to cast them into submission. Remembering what it feels like to let someone into your very soul, to let someone peel back the layers of you to find what really rests inside. The hope that one feels knowing you'll always be there with your arms open as if to catch me when I'm falling. I am no saint, I do not walk on untampered ground, but you are someone who showed me what it is like to run with the devil. What one feels like to be decieved, to have everything torn from under you in an instant. Remembering what a shattered heart feels like, what a soul that can no longer feel does when it tries to repair itself. Remembering tear filled eyes, and sleepless nights. Remembering not having the words come out in the exact way you feel, having them jumbled and stuck just below my tounge in a way that makes me frusterated. Remembering the love that was a trick played with smoke and funhouse mirrors. Remembering the way my heart danced in tune with yours, inticing every inch of my soul to collide with yours, stealing it like the way you stole my breath right from my lips. If you are one with the devil, what does all these things mean? Does that mean the very house my soul resides in, is nothing but a lie? Does that mean that I am someone who runs just as wild and freely as you? Do I remember you putting me in a trance to feel the way I feel? Do I remember falling asleep normal and then upon awakening growing this strange feeling I have towards you? Do I remember giving in and falling willingly into your soul of deception? This is the fault when it comes to remembering, is it really what you remember or is illusions you think might exist? If  I gave into your devilish ways does that make me at fault for all the pain, or am I the victim? I cannot remember, for remembering has become hard. I remember nothing but what I feel. I no longer remember the facts on how it ended up like this. Remembering you haunting my dreams and awakening me with unsettling screams is all that is left. My memory of you slowly fades though, while the pain you made me feel stains my unsettled heart. Remembering you is no longer a choice, no longer an option, for the memories I once had of your smiling face, your inticing ways, have long been forgotten.