Maybe one day
I will learn to appreciate the time I am taking for myself. I have never been alone long enough to understand that I dont always need someone. I want to know what it feels like to wake up without thinking of anyone but myself, I want to explore every corner of who I am. I am not sure why but I am afraid of what I'll find, I'm afraid that I will realize that I dont know who I am quite as much as I thought. I'm afraid that I'll give in and want someone to spend all this time on. Sometimes I think you need to learn how to appreciate yourself, to realize its okay to say no, to not be ready, to take things as they come, to take things slowly. If someone loves you, but your not ready for a relationship or commitment to that, they need to understand. They need to appreciate you for being honest. Imagine what would happen if you knew in your heart you weren't ready for something yet you did it anyways. That would be a total disaster, you'd be living a life you didnt want quite yet, and they would be suffering because your heart wouldn't be all the way in it.If someone cares about you, really cares they will respect your no and it wont be a problem. If they dont care and get mad, you never needed them in the first place. I want to tell my bloggers that no matter how strange, how much it hurts at first, its okay to be alone.
Its okay to be alone and like it. Take your time to explore, to do the things you love, to find passion in sunsets, to stay up until three in the morning with your best friend being wild. I am doing things I never thought I could actually do on my own, and to be honest in reality I probably wouldn't of done these things if I WASNT alone. People have this little voice in their head saying they need to be attached to someone, they need to search thier whole lives and find a soul mate, someone who loves them. In all honesty, they are so busy searching that they dont realize how much they are capable of loving themselves. Since I could remember I was so focused on finding a man, a man who completed me. Growing up I'd watch my mom do this type of searching, boyfriend after boyfriend, broken heart after broken heart. My mom couldn't be alone, no matter how independent she felt like she was, she wasnt. My mom still isnt, she is still suffering through heart ache after heart ache. In reality, if she would have taken the time to get to know herself, to think of herself, and to put herself first for a change I think things would've turned out differently for her. If my mom wouldnt of been so focused on men, she could've done a lot of things for herself, things that she has always wanted to do. I dont want a man to complete me, or anyone to complete me for that matter. I want to complete myself. I want to want someone, I dont want to have to NEED them. A man cant be what defines you. A relationship cant be what defines you. It should just be a part of your life. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should just be someone you care about, someone you love to be with. I feel like I need this time for myself. No one is going to persuade me otherwise. I just want you to remember that your life doesnt just revolve around love, getting married, and having kids, it is much much more than that. You deserve to learn who you are. You deserve to be alone with yourself, to self reflect and decide what type of person you are. I enjoy my quiet nights alone more and more, but I also enjoy the nights I get to stay up late and hang out with the people I care about without worrying what my significant other is doing or about HAVING to see them. Dont let anyone cloud your vision of what you really want. If you want to be alone, make it a statement that your happy and want to be alone. If you want to be in a relationship because your ready for that, do it. If you want to go to that one school, dedicate yourself and dont let anyone get in your way. Do what you love to do, and remember saying no isnt always as horrible as it sounds. Live your life for yourself and no one else because it is YOURS. That is something I want to stress on my bloggers because it is a beautiful thing to realize once you do.
I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is Esango Priest he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is esangopriest@gmail.com
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