Popping Xanax??!

My 

damn heart... I have been having this feeling since last Wednesday that my heart is going to jump out of my chest. Do you know that feeling when your about to do something scary? Like go into a haunted house or ride a roller coaster, that's how my heart feels constantly. It has felt that way for a week, A WEEK!! I once wrote on here a story about an anxiety attack I had in my work parking lot,and how I called my dad crying. Its like that feeling all over again but more permanent. I have tried yoga, working out, everything to get it to go away but it has been sticking to me. I called my grandma to ask her what doctor she went to so that if it didn't stop I could go see someone. My grandma was concerned and told me to go to Instacare instead. I went last night, I sat in the tiniest room for a little over an hour, staring at the white ceiling and listening to the three year old in the room next to mine cry. The nurse told me all my vital signs were normal and I just wanted to shout at her, WHATS WRONG WITH ME THEN??!! The doctor finally came into the tiny room, with her grey hair and tired eyes and told me that I was suffering from a severe anxiety attack. She handed me a bright red paper with a prescription for  a knock of brand of Xanax. She said once the prescription ran out  I would have to go to my primary doctor and get evaluated for anxiety and be put on medicine I can take daily that is less addictive. Then they grey hair, tired doctor sent me on my way. I never wanted to be on medication for my anxiety. I always thought it was something I could take care of and handle on my own. I thought I could conquer my anxiety and not let it eat me up inside, but I didn't realize how hard of a task that actually is. I felt defeated in a way, that I let my anxiety get this bad, what happened? Why cant I control it? Am I crazy? I am terrified to take my newly found way to cope with something that I have lived with for a long time.  I thought I was stronger and that is the worst part to me...but that is the thing, does getting help really make you weak? What if being on medication will help me? What if I will be in a better mood, less controlling over every aspect of my life? There are things you can live with, and things you cant, and suffering from anxiety is something that is very hard to live with. The grey haired doctor told me that sometimes severe anxiety attacks often feel like the same symptoms of a heart attack! Shame on me for getting help for that. If there is one thing I learned last night from sitting in that tiny room talking to a woman in a white lab coat is  that its okay to ask for help, even if it scares you to do so. I am worried that the medication will change me and I hope it doesn't because I like who I am. I am willing to try though because that's all I can do. I am ready to be better now. Do not ever think of getting help as being defeated, you are stronger than you think and braver than you know. Somethings are just stepping stones towards bettering your future, towards bettering yourself and the person you want to be. You will be okay.