Drowning in Bills

Sometimes

I really hate being an adult. You move out of your parents house, go to college like you are supposed to, keep a steady job and try so hard to pay all of your bills. Its hard and there's days I feel like the world is ending and I am surely going to die. Such as yesterday, yesterday was good until I found out my health insurance wont cover a bill I have from the doctors (720 dollars of a bill) I had a melt down. A big melt down that consisted of literally crying to my roomies about it. I still have no idea what I am going to do to pay it off, I'm still paying on other bills such as dentist bills. My roomies insisted on having a bake sale and I laughed, then we went to dinner and I felt better because I wasn't alone to think about it.  Then we got home, they all went to bed and I was alone again. I thought to myself that I am failing. I am failing so bad at being an adult. I owe all this money just for keeping my body healthy. That doesn't even begin to seem fair. I guess I just thought that things were going to be easier than this once I became an adult, like I would grow up, have endless money and never be in debt. (We all wish!) I felt like in that moment that I wasn't doing anything right. The lady at the doctors office said "this is why we tell people to make sure their insurance will cover procedures first" I wanted to strangle her! Trust me lady, I called and they said they would! Why would I, a 20 year old college student want to take the chance and pay for a 720 bill?! See what the insurance company didn't tell me was that they would only pay for it AFTER I met my deductible and I haven't, go figure.So I was on high feelings of failure status of feeling like my world was ending and I would soon die. All I wanted to do was cry and ask myself, when would I ever get my crap together?! I fell asleep crying, but I woke up this morning and really thought about it.. Does owing money on a bill really make me a failure, because I decided to do what I needed to do for my body? What about everything else I am doing, having a steady job for a year, going to school to be a psychology major, soon starting a class to train for EMT, moving out of my parents, paying every single one of my own bills (car insurance, car payment, phone bill, rent etc.) and not even once asking my parents to help me pay them? Am I really, after all that, going to sit here and call myself a failure and say I cant pay for this stupid bill?! It might take time sure, but I know I can do it. I can do anything I set my mind to. Sometimes that happens though, you wake up and you just don't want to do it anymore, you want to give up because you feel like you wont ever catch a break! Which is reasonable, to be honest at this time in my life I probably wont catch a break for a really long time, I am 20 years old and barely starting to see what this adult thing is like. There is no time for breaks right now, its head first, smack me with all that you got, time. If I can deal with break ups, all other bills, college, work, and soon EMT school I can handle anything. I collected my barrings and all I can do is jump head first and deal with my issues, so I made a mistake and didn't get all the details from my insurance, well now I have learned. Do not let the push and pull of life tear you down. You can conquer anything, absolutely anything that is thrown at you as long as you have the will power and muster up the strength to do it. Do not let bills or other stressors get you down. You take them one day at a time and you pay them or you fix and conquer them, That is all you can do. No one said that life was going to be easy, its all a test of how much will power you have. Show the world you have it.