Self Reflection at its finest

Dont.

Rule number one of all things people. Dont let someone tell you that they are doing something wrong because of you. Dont let someone say that they made a mistake because of something you did. Its a lie. Every single bit of it. Mistakes are made willingly, they CHOSE to do whatever they did. They just cant handle the reprecutions of the situation so they blame you, and you believe it. You believe it because you want, maybe even need an explination, and explination to help your psyche. To help you analyze what just happened. Dont take it being your fault as the explination. You dont control other people's actions, no matter how angry or hurt you made that person feel, what they choose to do because of those feelings are totally their own choices. Now to turn the tables a bit, the same goes for you. Don't make something you did someone else's fault. You willingly put yourself into a position that maybe you aren't proud of, own up to that. Take fault for your mistakes and then analyze yourself, figure out why you did that so that you can grow from it. Stand up and be a big person. Adimitting you did something wrong takes guts, blaming others is a cowardly move. Understand that people blame you as a way out, once they make you think its your fault you no longer question them, you question yourself, with the why wasnt I good enough? Why did I have to make them so angry to result in this? That is what they want. They want it to no longer be their fault because then its easier for them to face it. To hide behind thier own mistakes. You need to understand how your choices effect people around you. How that mistake will never get resolved with you or that person blaming each other. You will no longer have a good relationship, things will end up collapsing around you and you will no longer have a ground to stand on. This is because you will start to feel like the guilty one, and you wont understand why or how, it will be a constant battle within yourself to figure out how you could cause someone to do something that hurt you. Then on the otherhand, the person doing the blaming will start to feel guilty, will put off bringing up the issue, will keep making up things that you could have done to make them turn to this mistake, they will start getting angry, inpatient, will start telling you they just arent good enough for you. This in turn will make the other person feel worse until sooner or later you both are just pretending to be happy, while the underlining issue is still growing. The first step to resloving any problem is admitting you have one. Admitting how you feel, why you did what you did, why your angry about what someone else did. Once the problem is sloved and talked about it can then with time start to become just a bump in your relationship. The hardest thing for people to do as humans is to adimt they aren't perfect, and that is why relationships end up having fall outs. You end up just blaming each other for your OWN issues and mistakes. When in reality you should analyze yourself and take a step back so that you can realize what you need to work on as a person, as someone who wants to work on a realationship. As a team you need to stop blaming each other, and really start thinking about what the REAL issue is so that you can help each other reslove it. I believe that communication is what a relationship should be built on and if you can't look your partner in the eye and tell them you have made a mistake and you are working on yourself and trying to figure out why you made that mistake then you need to do some more self analyzing and really work on yourself before working on any serious relationship. Remember that relationships are about TWO people and you are no longer able to just do things without it effecting not only you but your partner as well. Come to peace with yourself and figure out who you are and then you can put your best foot forward in realationships because you will be at one with yourself, you wont be ashamed to admit you made a mistake or have a problem because you will have realized that you arent perfect and in the long run it is much easier to admit you were wrong then to hurt someone else for your own benefit.