"I love the person I have become

Because I have fought to become her."

I read this saying once and realized how true it was when it came to me. I have fought and fought for the person I have become and am still becoming. I have fought to hard to let sleepless nights get to me, to let anyone replace my feelings. To let anyone shape me into someone I am not. I dont care who you are, you either except me for the crazy, smart, overbearing, dress wearing woman that I am or you can walk away. I'll nicely hold the door open for you. I have realized that you dont have as much control over your life as you think you do, things happen for a reason, so you can grow. I will never force someone to stay in my life ever again because if they are trying to leave they obviously weren't meant to be here. If you think about it, someone walking out of your life is a horribly beautiful thing, the way you gave them so much and they can say that it wasnt good enough, that you weren't good enough. Well here's to those who have heard that statment. Your always good enough, good enough to wake up every morning, to be yourself, to choose who you want to be, what you want to look like, where you want to go. You are good enough to be your own wild, carefree version of you. One person saying that your not good enough should never effect how you actually feel about yourself. You are strong, if no one is going to love you then the best person to love you is yourself. Dont bow down and feel weak, and dont tell them that they are right,that you arent good enough because you are. You always will be good enough, because who defines what "good enough" is? Who is the one on the pannel saying oops she messed up give her a 2 out of 10 for the "good enough" catagory? No one because it doesnt exist. If you have spent every second of your life deciding the type of person that you want to be, the goals you want to have, the type of people you'll except to be in your life then you will be good enough for yourself and others will just have to except you. If they dont maybe they arent good enough, not good enough in your own sense of good. Maybe you have high expectations, but just because someone cant meet those or except those expectations doesnt mean that they aren't good enough or that you are expecting to much. It just means that that person isn't the right person for you, that person can't and wont ever be able to deal with someone who knows what they want, what they expect, and what they wont settle for. I have fought every day of my life through bad relationships, good relationships, failed friendships, a friendship that has lasted 7 years, multiple jobs, multiple carreer choices, and multiple people. I have been through the best times and the worst times and to be honest the worst times is when I truly found myself, it is when all the little peices of me are started getting put together because even if someone is walking out of my life the left me with a gift. A gift called a lesson, they taught me what I dont want, what I do want, things about myself I never knew before.So I am okay, if  people want to walk away it will hurt because I have gaven them peices of me, peices I wont ever get back, but I will stand, and I will deal. In the end its for my benefit, because if they couldnt handle me at my darkest most needed moments, then they never deserved me at my best ones, and that relationship wouldn't of ever servived anyways. I want to live my life how I want it. Regardless of what others expected me to be like, regardless if I didn't live up to someone's expectations, because I live up to my own. Every single day, I smile, I stay strong and I fight to find and become myself, and that, that is the most purest love I could ever recieve. There is not one person who could change how I feel about myself, because I learn more things that I never knew, I survive more things then I ever thought I could, and I dont need someone to poison me, to tell me who and how I should be, to tell me the pain I cause them, because they have had every opprotunity to except who I am or to leave, because I have never changed who I am to fit someone elses preference. This is me, I am real and the only expectations I will ever fight to meet, and to achive is my own. If you dont like that, if you want to alter me, mold me into the person you think I should be, if you cant understand where I am coming from,or understand what I expect from a relationship, and how I expect to be treated then you can turn around the way you came and walk back out.