Jerks and Toxicity

I read

an article today. It was about how to remove yourself from a toxic relationship, whether that be friendship, lover. etc. There are so many articles these days about things like that, how to know when its time to break up, how to know "he's the one", how to know if your compatible. Garbage. Garbage. Garbage! If you have to take a little five question quiz to see if you love someone or should break up with someone then you probably aren't in love and you probably should break up with them. I am being harsh I know. But seriously, do you think a computer screen, made up five question test is going to teach you about love? Some article is going to explain to you why you should leave your boyfriend/girlfriend when the person writing the article knows nothing about your relationship? Here is the key. If you find yourself questioning things then you probably already know the answer. If you have to Google if you should break up with someone then you probably already know you should.  Its just hard. Its hard as hell to walk away but let me tell you something, getting out of an off and on, unstable relationship made me realize something. If you have so much to complain about in your relationship, he doesn't show me affection, I cant trust him, he is never texting me back, he is never calling me, WHY IS HE LIKE THIS! Then its time to put on your big girl panties and walk away. If he is like this, and you choose to stay with him, you choose to put yourself through heartache, confusion, and anxiety then who is really the jerk? You are, NOT HIM. You sure as hell are not being kind to yourself. You aren't doing what you know needs to be done to heal yourself, to make yourself happy out of fear. Fear you'll miss him, fear because you love and care for him. Is that fear going to be any worse than what you are going through right now? Probably not. Staying with someone who doesn't fit you doesn't make that person the Jerk. It makes you a jerk because you are willing to do it. You are willing to sacrifice your self worth, your self love for someone who cannot meet your needs as a human being. You are the one being an asshole, a jerk because you are not realizing the harm you are causing to yourself, letting someone cause harm to you. That is not fair. If you are willing to put yourself through pain, you should ask yourself what made me think this is okay? Why am I sacrificing my needs? Its not about the other person not texting back, not showing affection, ITS ABOUT YOU! Its about you letting that happen to yourself. You have choices, He/she sure is hell isn't making you stay SO WHY ARE YOU? Your job is to love yourself and you have to decide what that means, what choices you have to make to do that. STOP BEING A JERK TO YOURSELF and putting up with people who make you feel bad! The only way to be happy is if you put yourself and your needs first, so do it. Putting yourself first doesn't make you mean, it makes you SMART!  Eliminate the toxic people in your life, you do not need them, toxicity isn't love.