I refuse to
let you climb into the walls of my heart and eat it alive like an infestation of termites again. I refuse to let you effect the water that streams down my cheeks after finding out what you have been up to. You do not deserve my salty, water filled eyes. You deserve a desert, a desert that will forever effect my face after hearing the news. You lied. You lied to me when you said you would get better, that you would be a better person for me, for us. You made the mistake of not remembering that I know you, I lived inside of you, and climbed out stronger than you could ever be. I was raised and born in a fire that you started, and I have survived every hell and heated moment since then. I will not be torn down by your selfish decisions, I will rise. I will take your lessons with a grain of salt and I will stand on an empire that I alone will build. With my two strong, callused hands I will be better than you ever were, than you ever could be. This is not a competition, this is a battle to fight my way out of my fate, my fate that says that I will end up like you, my fate that says I will look like a ghost, that I will wander the halls of my life not knowing where to turn, that I will abandon everything I was ever taught by people who were not you. I will not give in. I wasn't meant to be a ghost, I was meant to be a storm, a strong two handed, hell raising storm. I will fight with every being I have to make sure that I will not become you. I will become greater, smarter, stronger. My life is not yours, and your life is not mine. You are not a role model, you are a weakened soul that has no power, you gave in, you did not win against the fight of your life and for that I am torn. Saddened and split at my very seams, my heart is hurting, for you were not strong enough. You are not like me and I wish so much that you were. You built me, and showed me the way that I should not travel, but you failed to follow my path, you failed to understand that the way you are living isn't a life at all. You are contained behind a wall for what you did and you will forever be in and out of that wall until you give up, until you decide enough is enough, and by then it might be to late. You are not my role model, you are not someone I can look up to, you have chosen to live in darkness, to lie, to be deceitful, to do whatever it takes to live the low life you have become accustomed to. Look around you, look at who you have hurt, look at who you have become. I have no idea who you are anymore and when people ask I will tell them you are what I am fighting to not become. You are the person who has made one too many mistakes. I am not you and I will never be. I am stronger, smarter and that is the only gift you have blessed me with. I will not cry for you anymore, I have become numb, accustomed to your behavior and I will no longer let your faults effect me. I am not you and I will not be dragged and worn out like an old sweater by the decisions you are making. You do not deserve that kind of power over me, you do not deserve to see the strong, bold person I am becoming. Who I am becoming hasn't needed you this whole time. I am a storm, a hurricane and you have mistaken me for a small wind, I am building and I am overcoming you and there is nothing you can do. Watch me rise and become bigger than you have ever seen, bigger than you ever were. Look at what you built, look at what I have become, are you happy now?
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