If someone
would've told me growing up that I couldn't protect my little brother I would laugh in their face and most likely call them names. He was my best friend. The person who would help me when I fell off my bike. He was the boy that I protected, I once beat up an older boy for picking on him after school. I was the big sister and I swore I'd protect him until the day I died. I remember the day he came home from the hospital, you don't think I would seeing how I was only 3 but I do. I remember his little hands and the way I wanted to hold him so so bad! I was so excited to have a little brother and I swore that I would take care of him. Growing up I practically raised him, making him Mac and Cheese for dinner and sleeping next to him after I made him watch The Ring with me. He was my little brother. Now he's not so little anymore. He is 18 in September, he is driving a car, almost on his last year of high school, he is taller and his voice has changed. It makes me the saddest person in the world. I can no longer tackle him to the ground and hold him there because he has outgrew me. My little brother no longer needs my protection. Recently he just suffered his first heartbreak and I am upset about it because I know how it feels. I want to take his pain away and quite frankly punch the girl in the face, but I can't, I can no longer protect him. I remember my first real heartbreak, it was miserable and I thought my world had come to an end. He asked me what he was supposed to do and for once I couldn't help him, you cannot fix a broken heart. All I could do was give him advice and I felt helpless. It was the first real moment that I couldn't make him feel better. I didn't know how hard growing up would be, I think the hardest part for me is watching my siblings grow up and go through some of the same things I did, knowing I cannot help. My brother told me he wants her back, he wants to work things out and I wanted to scream at him "DON'T DO IT!!" Because it hurts, love hurts and I want to keep him sheltered. I want him to not have to go through what I went through, but I couldn't say that. When you are in love, or you think you are in love you will do whatever it takes for that significant person regardless of what others advice to you is. I think my brother deserves all the happiness in the world, and to never be hurt or broken hearted but unfortunately that isn't possible. I am lucky to have such a great bond with my brother and to be the one he asks for advice, I just wish I could stop the pain. It hurts to see people you love hurt. It sucks to grow up, to understand fully what is happening. I love my family and I would do anything to protect them but I glad my brother is learning. He is learning how to love, how to not love, and how to grow as a beautiful person. I would take away all the pain if I could but then he would never learn. All I can do as a big sister now is stand and support him. I was lucky to grow up with my siblings and to form and unbreakable bond like the one I have with my brother. Remember that you cant always take away the pain but you can give wonderful advice because you have been there. Support your family and love your life. Becoming an adult isn't all that bad when you are surrounded by people you love, who will be there to support you and cheer you on. I am sorry little brother. I love you and things will get better!
No comments:
Post a Comment