Sunday, January 7, 2018
Engulfed in loss
You were thrashing
in the water, gasping for air and clawing at the waters surface. You were drowning and coughing and gasping, the gasping scared me the most. The water was the sea and it was bigger than me and I just stood and watched you. Watched you fight to live. I couldn't do anything else. I was standing on the surface, panicking, yelling your name. Screaming over the sound of the waves smacking the shoreline and against my legs. I was screaming so hard my throat was burning and my voice was turning raspy and soon enough it turned into a whisper. You were sinking now, going down deep into the abyss slowly. You stopped thrashing. You stopped the terrible gasping noises that made my heart thump against the outside layers of my chest. You were gone. Just like that. Something bigger took you from me. Something scarier. Something more powerful than I had ever been. I stood at the waters edge and watched for a sign you were still out there. Nothing. No sign. Just the sound of the waves smacking the shoreline and roaring like a caged animal.
I woke up sweaty and heaving, crying, my throat sore. It was the first dream I had about losing you and it would be the last. You were gone. Life took you from me when I needed you the most and I could do nothing but watch. This life was the sea and there's not a damn thing I could do but watch you drown in it. -M.D.L.
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