Single as a Pringle

People

have always told me that I will find that one guy who will make my heart beat faster and I will fall madly in love. What they never did tell me was the time I would spend alone before that happened. The time it took to find this "one guy." I used to feel like finding him was such an urgent thing, that I needed him in my life right now in order for my life to be prefect and dreamy. I spent time and effort searching and trying to mold men into this perfect soul mate of mine. I used to hate the questions of "why don't you have a boyfriend?!" The world made me feel like I needed another person, a man to be complete. I discovered something else. I discovered and I am still discovering more things alone about myself then I would've if I was in a relationship. I think that is the power of being alone, finding yourself.


1. The first thing I discovered is that its okay to be lonely, Its okay to feel sad because your are the only one of your friends who is not in a relationship or married. That is natural. But what isn't okay is finding the first person you see and clinging onto them out of loneliness, spending every second with them because you don't want to be alone. Stop that. Go home, make some tea, cry if you have to and go to bed alone. You will feel much better about waking up alone the next day then with a stranger, trust me.

2. Stay busy! I don't care what you do, go to the movies by yourself, have a girls night, go shopping. Stay busy because you should be living life! This is your time to do whatever you want! Even if that consists of watching every Netflix movie and venting to your sister about all the ice cream you just ate. Do it! Its better than sitting around moping in your loneliness.

3. Do not be afraid to face yourself. This is a big one, especially for me. Being alone means learning to love yourself, which means you have to spend a lot of the time with yourself, even if you don't like it. It will get easier to go to bed alone, to wake up and realize that your going to spend whatever holiday coming up next alone. You might even find it kind of nice in the long run! Hang in there, being alone isn't always bad and facing yourself means learning your own strengths and weaknesses, so do it no matter how strange and different it might feel.


4. Realize that you can say no. You do not have to sleep with anyone, date anyone, be with anyone, spend time with anyone if you do not want to. No is a powerful word and should be used whenever you feel necessary, Its okay to not want to do something, to respect yourself and to not feel bad for doing so. You control your own life so say no every once in awhile, set boundaries and learn the respect that you have and that others should have for you as well. Saying no does not make you a mean person.

5. Don't try to change people. People do NOT change unless they are willing to and want to. Do not try to change someone to fit your idea of a perfect soul mate, the right person wont need changing and if you are patient enough that right person will show up some day. Don't hurt yourself by trying to change someone who doesn't want to, that just means they are not the one and you should move along.

6. Don't take your grandma asking you a million times when you are going to get married as a sign that you are living life all wrong. She just wants to see you happy, and I think she will understand if that means yoga, college, or finding yourself! Just explain to grandma (and everyone else) that you are doing some soul searching first. They might even get a little jealous that you can be so independent! Loneliness isn't a bad thing!


7. Do not dwell on the fact that you are alone. Do not ask yourself whats wrong with you or why no one can love you. Its not a matter of why you aren't loved, its a matter of who is loving you! You are missing the fact that you love you, your family loves you, and your closest friends love you! Isn't that enough? It should be, and if its not maybe you should do some self evaluating as to why you don't feel like it is. Love comes in all different forms and sometimes the form of love that you need isn't exactly the kind you ask for but its enough trust me!

8. Remember to laugh, sometimes it gets hard and you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, no one to hold you, no one to talk to. This is when you need to remember to laugh! Go have a good time! Read funny quotes on the Internet, stop taking life so seriously! Dance like no one is watching, call your sister or a family member and tell them how you feel so that they can cheer you up! Being single shouldn't be about realizing that your single and lonely, it should be about realizing that your single and free! Free to be whoever you want, to let go, to not have the responsibility of making someone else happy, just make yourself happy!

9. Stop pushing things to happen, If someone bails on that first date you planned together, let them! They are missing out on a great opportunity anyways. Don't have hard feelings towards them, its their loss! You shouldn't have to force people to see you, to like you, or to want to be with you! Let things happen naturally, love isn't something you have to push for, its not on a set agenda.


10. Lastly, Just be yourself!! Stop spending every second trying to find that special someone and just live your life! The time will come when you meet someone special but right now you have time to live for you! Which means to let love happen when it happens, stop going out of your way to find it and just enjoy loving yourself first! No one says you cant be single and enjoy it. There are many perks of being in a relationship, but there are also many perks about being single, so be single!! Go have fun and be yourself, stop dreading being alone and embrace it! Go find yourself, you rebel!

Love yours truly. :)