Getting Naked

Learning

to love being naked. Yes that's a thing. I once decided to take a picture of myself almost naked. (Bra and underwear style.) no I was NOT going to send it to anyone. I just wanted to know what it would feel like to live on that sort of edge. What it felt like to be that vulnerable, to actually stare at myself and to be a "model" I guess. For one, my bedroom lighting sucked so I looked almost orange. I also was the one holding my camera so that made things a little difficult and a little blurry (maybe I take the whole model style idea back). It also was very awkward to try and be sexy, I felt like that was needed in this type of almost naked photo. I tried twisting and contorting my body and face in a sexy manner, I ended up looking constipated and like I had wayy more fat on my body then I actually do. I am currently in the middle of reading a book called Not That Kind of Girl and in it the author (Lena Dunham) talks about a scenario just like the one I was having, except she was involved in sex videos which is a much more awkward situation. (Its a great book,definitely check it out if your not afraid of sex, love, life,and woman issues) Anyways sorry about the little side note. There I was, trying to be sexy in the almost naked photo of myself. Okay, I cant really say photo its more like photo(s) with an "s" I took a ton because I didn't feel like any of them was quite good enough at first.I turned so just my butt was facing the camera/ full body mirror, thinking that would make me feel better since I couldn't see my own face staring at me. I then turned so it was a full on frontal of my almost naked self. It felt strange and I felt vulnerable, you know the type of vulnerable you get even when changing in your room alone, you just want to cover yourself up  and never look at yourself naked again. I never understood why people get like that, what made me hate my body? I never remember waking up one day and saying "hey, I am not going to be comfortable in my own skin today"  I remember staring at the pictures and pointing out the things I disliked about them, my big hips, not so skinny waist, all my bumps and bruises. I remember times when I would see other people naked (sometimes, well most the time, not on purpose) they would always cover up their bodies and slam the door or scream (I am talking about family members or friends being in a room changing and not locking the door, oops!)like what they had to offer was much more different and alien then what I had, like we didn't have the same bodies. Who taught us to do that? Who said that it was bad to see other people naked even though we all have the same body parts? Who said it was bad to see yourself naked to not be comfortable in your own skin? The longer I stood there taking my candid "girls gone wild" photos the more comfortable I got seeing myself in the state of almost nakedness. I started to notice things that I liked about my body such as my strong legs, my nice rounded butt. I thought to myself, hey this isn't too bad! Why have I always been afraid of looking in the mirror while I am changing, why have I always bee afraid to face this kind of vulnerability. If you want to discover what you love about yourself, capture yourself in a state of being vulnerable, (Naked!) I figured if I could love myself naked then I could love myself in any way, shape or form. I am now not afraid to stand in front of a mirror and pinpoint the little things I love about my own body. Naked photos are a thing society is against, why? Because it shows a hint of vulnerability, it shows you giving yourself away no secrets to hide anymore, it shows you are comfortable with what you have. My almost naked photos are something that saved my self -esteem. I now would walk around my house naked if i could! Do not be afraid to be naked in all aspects of your life. Nakedness+Vulnerability=Learning to love yourself and learning to love others.   I do not condone sharing your naked (or almost naked photos) that is NOT what I am saying, I condone loving yourself exactly the way that you were made, flaws and all. Hooray for naked photos only sent to yourself, those are the best kind. Be comfortable in your own skin. Celebrate your own body, your beautiful!