Forgive Yourself

He

never told her sorry.
There was no apology, no remorse for the gut wrenching pain he caused.
She didn't need there to be.
Her strength to walk away was her own apology to herself.
Her apology for allowing herself to settle for anything less than she deserved.
Sometimes the only apology you need is the one you forgot to give.
The one to you.
Forgive yourself often.
Forgive the scenarios you put yourself through, for you are only human.

-M.D.L

Why Blog?

I didn't

always see myself creating a blog. I never saw myself waging a war within my head on if  I should be honest about what I write on my blog or if I should make everything up. I am also not very tech savvy so I didn't think it would grab anyone's attention either. I thought one day that maybe I should put my blog on hold, you know write on it when I have a two year old or something catchy that grabs peoples attention like marriage. I don't have that, I cant tell you about the time my child got his/her first tooth, I cant tell you about my wedding day because it hasn't happened yet. All I have to offer is real moments in my life that I cant seem to grasp sometimes. I can tell you all about breakups, about staying up until 3 in the morning studying my ass off. I can tell you all about finding the love of my life, about losing that love, about crying, about laughing so hard my stomach hurts,and about friendships. I can tell you about down to earth,real life stuff that is happening probably to you too right now. I have said a thousand times on this blog that life is not a fairy tale. I don't want to lie to you and tell you about fairies and unicorns, I want to be real. I want to be open and relate to the bad and good things that are happening to you right now. Otherwise what would my blog be for? If I had a child with a first tooth I would most likely write about the lack of sleep I was getting because all my child does is scream. I would tell you about how parenting is hard, even though we already know that. If it was the day of my wedding I would probably tell you how I am falling apart because I cant believe this is happening and I am ruining my make up with tears.About how I am so scared my dress wont fit and how I know he is the one. I would tell you that I am terrified of divorce and of tripping down the isle, that is why I am wearing tennis shoes instead of heels. I am not a fan of blogs that portray their lives as perfect, that portray all the good and none of the bad because to me you have to have both. We are human and we are not perfect, without a breakdown their would be no happiness. My life is messy, complicated, and sometimes confusing and I take pride in not pretending that it is anything different. If you like the sappy blogs filled with nothing but happiness then let me tell you that you must have typed in the wrong URL and I hope you find that blog. I wanted honesty for once because I got sick of the internet being so perfect, of all these people portraying their "perfect life" that we all know is not always so glamorous because we are all going through hell someday's, we all have days that dont always work out.  I love to write, it is my passion and I LOVE when something I write touches someones soul in some profound, way that they can relate. I thank everyone who reads my blog and supports me in my writings. I hope that you are able to find peace, understanding, or just feel less alone when reading my tangents. I write because its my therapy, its my way of coping and it makes me happy. Do what makes you happy, even if it sounds crazy. Its important to be happy and embrace the crazy thing  that we call life.

Drowning in love

All

your love filled my heart to the brim, spilling over like a vicious waterfall until I was drenched in it.

If this is what love feels like, please just let me drown here.

-M.D.L

The sound

Just

the other day I fell asleep to the sound of your heartbeat and today I'm waking up to the sound of your silence. The funny thing is, I cant seem to figure out which one is louder.

-M.D.L

Here's to broken hearts and other broken things

You

stayed broken

for a really long time.

I often asked myself

what kind of love was the

love that broke you.

Then I realized...

it wasn't love at all.

Do you realize that?

Think about how often

we all let people in who 

are supposed to love us but

don't...

How long must you suffer for

what she did to you darling?

How long must you let 

destruction win?

Love doesn't hurt you....

People do. 

-M.D.L 

Drowning

When

You feel yourself drowning always remember that someone out there lives in a deeper ocean than you do.

M.D.L