Better Off Without You

I Found myself once I lost you. How dare you call me back, asking me to lose myself again. I made myself small for you, shrunk down my words, swallowed my sentences. Now I'm speaking, shouting, screaming and you are upset about what is being said? Honey, you should have realized you couldn't kill me even though you thought I was better off dead. -M.D.L

Cry Me a River

If I had a place to keep all the tears I have cried over a man I would have a damn ocean to drown them all in- M.D.L

Wolf in Sheep Clothing

He wrapped himself in new skin with a big smile on his face, carrying the same insides around like heavy luggage under his facade. He knocked on my door, begging me to let him in because he's "different" this time. I thought to myself, when is he going to stop with this charade? Better question was, when was I going to stop falling for it? -M.D.L

Writing Prompts

You bound my hands behind my back, you took away my freedom and told me what I lacked. You didn't know what you had coming, if I were you I would have started running. My powers were greater than you could see. Don't worry darling you will remember me. I stole your heart from the very start, lit a match to it and called it art. You thought you could conquer all that I am, make me silent and call me your little lamb. I'm not a lamb in this story you see, you are the only one who wasn't free. You thought you could burn me up in flames, tear me down and destroy my name. You forgot one part of this story that cannot be undone, the witch doesn't burn, no not in this one. -M.D.L

because "love yourself" is not as easy.

I have loved so many different people in deep, soul aching ways. I have loved so many people I forgot to love myself. Who is going to love me? I am afraid no matter how far I stretch my heart there will never be room for me inside it. My heart is the giving kind, not the taking and I do not know how to come back from that.-M.D.L

What is Depression, Heavy.

Things are too much and I am crashing. I feel so heavy. Everything is heavy,the movement of my body, my feelings, words. Everything is something yet nothing at all and I feel broken down, withered, worn thin. I cry on the way home, with the radio turned up in case someone in the car next to me can hear my wailing sobs because they are loud and gut wrenching. The strangers see it, the tears streaming down my face so I turn my head because I know that feeling anything is not acceptable and pain is too much for strangers to bare, hell its too much for me to bare. Everything is heavy and I am sitting with it all like a ball bouncing around my insides. This life is heavy and I just dont know if I can carry it around on my shoulders anymore. I don't feel like I have to, if I just put it down for a second I am sure it would still be there. If I could just give it to someone else to hold for awhile I would be ecstatic. However this is not how life works, I can not abandon it at its darkest. It follows me around like a shadow casting on a wall in a dim lit room. Life is me, and I am it. There is no escaping the heaviness the sobbing, the shit of it all. There is no where to turn when I have been weighed down by the heaviness of life. So I sit with it, weighing on my shoulders as I sob, as I feel the pain washing down my cheeks with salty, burning drops of water. I cannot escape life, but I can sit down and prop it against the wall of my bedroom while I remember what it was like to not feel it there., when it wasn't so heavy. When life felt like butterflies landing on my shoulders or a blanket draped around me for warmth. Life is heavy and I sometimes feel weak but then I remember that it was once light warming and radiant. It was not always heavy, I was not always weak. One day I will wake up and this will be the case again. I just need to carry it a little longer, life is heavy but it will change and I will grow strength and flowers in my hair as I dance with butterflies and laugh at how heave it once felt. Life needs time to teach me heaviness because without the heaviness I would not know what to compare its light to. -M.D.L

Here in the midst

We fell here. Somewhere between the morning coffee and late night laughs. We landed here, In a world full of fights and name calling. We ended here and I don’t even remember how. We ended in a place that is shattered. Love doesn’t exist here and so I question if it exists to begin with.... love seems fleeting, always leaving when we need it the most. -M.D.L